Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize