Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can't put those talents on a resume
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
