Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
