At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
