You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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