Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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