are you so shy because you have an std?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
