OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
