I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
