I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
