you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
