Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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