a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
no. you can't hotbox the world.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
