why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
