Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
