In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
