i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
