What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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