All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
