When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't deserve a penis
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
