Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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