Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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