Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
