Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Welp...herpes.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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