hotel room ftw
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
