Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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