Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
