I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
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I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
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I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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