Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
