I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
