i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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