So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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