just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
