Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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