I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
