Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
