hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize