Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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