everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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