Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
