i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
