life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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