So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize