my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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