are you still at the devil's house?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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