If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
