dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
