I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize