Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize