yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
