I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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