Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
