Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I am spending my child support on dildos
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
