Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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