just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
