Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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