why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
