my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
