I got chris browned last night
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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