Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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