pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You ruined the universe
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize