So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
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i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
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The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Semen is not good for contacts.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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