And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
