you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
