She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Randomize
