no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
