I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
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I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
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Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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