Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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