Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
