I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There's always time for handjobs
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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