I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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