I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
