Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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